Well lets start with the definition given by The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language (fourth edition. 2000), where a swinger is defined as “A person who engages freely in promiscuous sex” and/or “A member of a couple, especially a married couple, who exchanges sexual partners” After 10 years of counseling, educating and working with the “modern day swinger” a better stated definition would be:
“Any person or persons engaging in any form of sexual activity in the presents of any one or more individuals other than or in addition to his or her primary partner.” (as defined by Third Path)
We find that previous older definitions do not follow the modern approach of many within the swinging communities. The first and most obvious change in swinging is the fact that a very large percentage of swingers do not and never intend to “swap partners”. We have found that for many in the past, “swapping” was a means of satisfying something that was missing in the relationship that they were locked into. Many were unsatisfied with what they had, but did not want to divorce for reasons that varied from family values to religion. At the same time that this was occurring, many other non swingers were judging them for there sexual deviance even though consensual and in open of there partners. Meanwhile those judging were out cheating on their spouses as their means of satisfying themselves in their lacking relationship.
Today, at least 8 out of 10 couples are in this lifestyle for the “enhancement” of their relationship and NOT for the “replacement” of their relationship. Many couples are finding a new dimension to their already exciting sex life. Just because they are sharing sex with one or more individuals, that does not necessarily mean that they are having intercourse or even physical contact with these other individuals or couples. We find couples or individuals that simply share photos or enjoy the excitement of someone watching while they and their partner arouse each other to the point of total ecstasy and ultimately orgasm. Just the thought of their erection being shared visually by another couple getting aroused right next to them, even though there is no physical contact with anyone other than their primary partner, sends them into an orgasmic state that has not been experienced since their first sexual encounter with their own honey.
We find that there are many levels of swingers and to be definitive as possible, we have attempted to create a scale that might help you determine were you are and where you may want to be.
